The DUI five years in the making finally made its long-delayed debut, tiptoeing into fruition on the very quietest of news days. Lindsay Lohan ran her Mercedes into a curb on Sunset early Saturday morning, while drunk, high, and feuding with her supposed lesbian lover. Let's get to the details, shall we?

So Linds started Friday night at Les Deux. She left around 2 am, and went to a party at a friend's house. She got in a fight there with her rumored lesbian lover, DJ Samantha Ronson. In video from the night (view here), you can actually hear Linds as she leaves the party (at the 2:52 mark on the tape) saying, "F**k that god**** lesbian girl."

Then she goes to Skybar at The Mondrian for about 45 minutes before heading back to her condo. I guess Samantha Ronson met her there, because she was spotted leaving Lindsay's building on foot around 5 am, and Lindsay, with a male friend, followed her in her car. She caught up with Samantha as she was in the median of Sunset Boulevard, and the two were screaming, with Lindsay reportedly saying, "You f***ing lesbian bitch!" to SamRo. Samantha eventually got into the car, and they headed down Sunset until Lindsay ran "into the curb." And by "into the curb" they mean "over the curb and into a fence." Check out the video.

So then Lindsay's bodyguard shows up, around the same time as the cops (responding to a 911 call), and drives the car back to Lindsay's condo, where it was later towed and impounded by the police. For whatever reason -- because he was drunk, stupid, or just hates Linds -- it didn't occur to him to remove the cocaine from the car. So the officers inspecting the car after it was impounded found the narcotics.

Lindsay's friends took her to the hospital after the event, so she'll probably be charged with leaving the scene of an accident. Additionally, Svedka Vodka, which had planned to sponsor Lindsay's 21st birthday party in Las Vegas, has pulled out of the event. Not that it matters. Lindsay will probably be spending her July 2 birthday in rehab.

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