Not much happened in television over the extended Christmas weekend. It was a test run of sorts for the strike-riddled months ahead. The highlight was the final episode of The Next Great American Band, a show whose very title was a cruel taunt to its creators, the producers of American Idol.

The finale began in a suitably random way: a band called The Likes of You -- eliminated from the competition a couple of months ago -- was for some reason invited back to perform a song supposedly about the NGAB experience, accompanied by a montage of bands we've already forgotten. The lead singer of the group Northmont, which didn't even get past the audition, played "Smooth" along with members of the three finalist bands. The Clark Brothers' journey on the show was recounted, including the night they made Sheila E. cry, and they performed a mandolin-heavy and emotional "You Are Still the Same." Sheila E. drummed away on "The Glamorous Life," a hit before a few of this season's musicians were born. Sixwire was the second band to perform and rocked out (as this country band has had to do a lot this season) on the Rolling Stones' "The Last Time." Judge John Rzeznik and his band the Goo Goo Dolls performed "Broadway." The third finalists, the beyond lame Denver and the Mile High Orchestra, performed an energetic (for them) "Vehicle."

Host Dominic Bowden then abruptly announced Denver and the boys had not won. Denver said America hadn't seen the last of him and his band, which sure sounds like a threat to me. Some recently eliminated bands -- prepubescent metalheads Light of Doom, '80s revivalists Dot Dot Dot, neo-garage band Tres Bien, and county fair-quality bluegrassers Cliff Wagner and the Old #7 -- performed Christmas songs along with the three finalists. Ashley Clark made even the silly Wham! song "Last Christmas" sound angsty. Finally, it was time for the announcement: The Clark Brothers were the winners. Bowden bid us goodbye "until next year," (don't hold your breath) and then The Clark Brothers played us out with "Billy the Kid." Rzeznik praised the brothers by saying their sincerity can't be faked, but while I agree with that, these guys really need to lighten up if they're going to get to the next level. I'm sure a few meetings with the people who made Carrie Underwood what she is today will do the trick. [Teevieo]

The Shot:
The VH1 fashion photographer hunt aired its finale as well. The Bosnian Dean came back to the loft after the last boot and loudly proclaimed himself a shoo-in. Russell James gave the final three their last assignment at an early hour. The trio were driven to the airport to meet Sharen Turney, the CEO of Victoria's Secret, on her private jet. The photogs were heading to Hawaii to shoot for the chain, and the winner of the challenge would get into the VS catalog and win The Shot. A couple of Victoria's Secret corporate types told them the concept for the shoot would be spring break. Dean wondered if Maria and John had something going between them...

The models were top of the line: Alessandra Ambrosio, Miranda Kerr, and Marisa Miller. The key shot would be getting all three models in one shot. John had a fairly elaborate idea, which worried Russell James. He got the shot with all three, but had to rush to finish the individual shots. Maria went the other way, taking individual shots and trying to get to know the models a bit first. Maria thought being a woman was an advantage, since she felt she was just shooting for herself. The Victoria's Secret people appeared more impressed, and Maria was happy to the point of tears. Dean said he didn't know much about the Victoria's Secret catalog, and that unfamiliarity led him to chatter to the point that the girls were getting bored.

All the photographers seemed pleased with their work; Dean once again informed them it was no contest. Russell's critique was mixed for all three. He prepared to eliminate a contestant before the final challenge, and the photographer cut was John. The next assignment was a cover shoot for the VS catalog, with the theme of guilty pleasures. The cover model was Alessandra Ambrosio, and the photographers had one hour to get the shot. Maria took Alessandra down to the rocks on the beach, but was worried about the cloudy day. She used artificial lighting, a big advancement for her. Dean wanted the model on a balcony, which worried the Victoria's Secret guy, but all concerned, including Alessandra, thought he was much improved over the previous day. Maria said she was happy with her season-long growth.

Back in Los Angeles, Russell presided over the final judging. Russell told Dean the question about him was always whether he could make the emotional connection, and he felt Dean had finally done that. Russell said that Maria had made great technical strides. Russell called Maria's name, and she appeared to expect she was about to be canned, but she was named the winner, and will get the Victoria's Secret cover, a shoot for Marie Claire, and $100,000. One thing you can say for this show: they made the life of a photographer look like a great time. [Backseat Cuddler]

The Amazing Race:
The five remaining teams traveled from Dubrovnik by bus to Split and then by ferry to Ancona, Italy. Despite the large difference in starting times, the lengthy wait for the ferry tied the teams up again. Once they landed, the teams were told to drive themselves to Empoli in Tuscany; they were also given a Blackberry on which they would receive a message. The teams took differing routes to the site; TK and Rachel realized they forgot their clue and spent valuable time going back for it. The teams' Blackberry messages were words of encouragement from home.

Three of the teams that were heading to Empoli via Bologna hit awful traffic, allowing the only two teams who took alternate routes, TK/Rachel and Jennifer/Nathan, to get to the Roadblock when it opened at 7 AM. The task required a team member to ascend in an ultralight and spot the word "Vinci" on the ground; if they took too long, the plane would have to descend and refuel. The later arriving Nicolas and Donald decided to do the race's only Fast Forward, which required them to get tattoos of the letters FF on their persons. They took the plunge and arrived first at the Pit Stop in Florence. The other teams, once they got their clue in Empoli, had to travel to Vinci for the Detour, which required them to either perform a flag ceremony or build a crane designed by Leonardo and use it to lift a stone.

In the end, the race for last place was between TK/Rachel, who fell far behind when TK couldn't spot the clue in the Roadblock and then suffered a flat tire and Kynt/Vyxsin, who got badly lost driving to Empoli. The Goths ended up last, but were saved by a non-elimination round. They were told that their penalty would be a new race twist called the Speed Bump: they would have to perform one extra task at some point in the next leg. [Jaunted]

In God's Name:
It's highly unusual for a two-hour documentary to air on network television, even if it's Christmastime and the documentary is religious in nature. In God's Name is the work of brothers Gedeon and Jules Naudet, best known for their filming in lower Manhattan on September 11, 2001. They said the events of that day inspired them to want to examine the role of faith in the world. Twelve religious leaders answered questions on such issues as the morality of violence and whether doubt ever creeps into their lives. The mere fact that the Dalai Lama, Pope Benedict XVI, Southern Baptist Convention president Frank Page, and the Shiite Ayatollah Mohammed Fadlallah (who has supported Hezbollah) appeared in the same film made it noteworthy in and of itself; although, anyone who watched the film with the goal of discovering the roots of religious-based hatred was no doubt disappointed. All participants agreed that human life was sacred and that murder in the name of God was always wrong. The overall effect was soothing, but the fact that it was soothing made it incomplete. [The Journey]

The Girls Next Door:
Holly prepared for a trip to Alaska to show the girls her hometown. She remembered her life in the woods, illustrated with pictures of her as a little girl in which she looks like a completely different person. Kendra looked forward to going, but not to the plane trip. The four-day trip would be Holly's longest time away from Hef in five years. Holly's folks met her at the airport, and the girls got on board a boat for a wildlife expedition. The boat docked so they could look for bears, but the girls seemed concerned when the guide made sure he was armed. Kendra was disappointed she didn't see a whale or a bear.

Back ashore, Holly bought a puffin doll because she collects puffin memorabilia. Bridget had no idea moose got so big. Holly took the girls to a favorite Chinese restaurant, and they were mobbed by fans; the same happened at a local bar. Holly and company got on board the aquatic plane for the flight into her old hometown, and sure enough, the plane developed a weird smell and seemed to be in mechanical trouble. The pilot made an emergency landing on the water, and the girls waited for a new plane. Kendra, already the most worried about flying, really had to be coaxed onto the new plane. The girls got to Holly's hometown of Craig and went to a little restaurant; a customer had an old school yearbook with her and everyone got to see the old Holly.

The girls wondered what Hef was up to. It turned out he was puttering around like any other octogenarian. Holly took the other two on a driving tour of the town, and found the site of her old home was now a field of dandelions. The girls played on swings in a little park and felt nostalgic. Kendra grumbled about having to get back on the plane. The girls arrived back at the mansion and Hef said he had missed them terribly. Holly was grateful for the experience. [Zooped]

Father Hood:
Snoop Dogg was heading to New York for the Hip Hop Honors Awards Show with his wife and daughter. He left Anthony in charge of the boys and Snoop's Porsche, and warned him about leaving the car alone. Snoop's youngest son Cordell took advantage of the absence of the folks and threw a party. Anthony found Cordell lifting cash out of his dad's coat. Anthony seemed to forget his duties; before long, the home was crammed with friends and pizza. Cordell managed to quiet things down long enough to take a call from his dad.

Snoop said he wanted to take his kids on the road with him more often as they got older. Snoop insisted on sleeping when he felt like it, a frustration for his manager Kevin. Back home, the boys tried to talk Anthony into using the forbidden car to take them to Hollywood. Cordell pulled the car out of the driveway and Anthony drove it the rest of the way. Shante was thrilled to shop in New York. Anthony got a phone call from Snoop while they were out in the car; they again fooled him about where they were. Snoop told son Corde that he knows Cordell is snooping in his room. Snoop appeared on Conan O'Brien's show and talked about his upcoming reality show... the very show we're now watching!

Snoop arrived at the Hip Hop Honors as one of the night's honorees. While Anthony's attention was divided in Hollywood, the Porsche was being towed. He called Snoop as he was getting ready to go on stage. After the show, Snoop told a press conference that rappers didn't get enough credit for being good parents. Anthony was told getting the car back would cost $500. Anthony was taken back to the car and showed the police some of the clothes in the trunk, assuming that they would be acceptable to settle the debt once they tell the police the clothes are Snoop's. The cops accept the clothes in return for the vehicle, for some reason. Back home, Snoop chewed Anthony out, and informed him the slippers he gave away were actually worth $5,000. I love Snoop, but I'd be stunned to find out that a single word is uttered in this show that isn't in some script.

A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila:
You knew MTV would wring every last drop from this sponge. This reunion show brought the competitors back together, even though there was only time to deal with few of the season's subplots. A review of Domenico's time on the show and his evolution into something of a sympathetic character led to the revelation that he will be the star of the sequel to A Shot at Love, to be called That's Amore. As if there was ever any doubt, there won't be any of that naughty male bisexuality -- this will strictly be a shot at boy/girl love.

The frequent fights between Brandi and Vanessa were recalled, after which Brandi came out from backstage and got in Vanessa's face as if there might be blows exchanged one last time. Near the end of the show Tila was finally introduced, and then runner-up Dani appeared. She again asked why she wasn't picked, and Tila said something about not wanting to uproot her from her current life. Finally, winner Bobby reappeared, and Tila got to see him for the first time in two months. She helpfully informed us that they had dealt with the separation with phone sex. After spending the whole show teasing a big announcement, Tila told the audience something I thought we already knew: she's hosting MTV's New Year's Eve bash. Will she still be with Bobby?

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