I guess something good did come out of Jessica Simpson's divorce, after all. Now she's all freed up to be Ashlee's maid of honor!

Jessica confirmed to reporters that she will be Ashlee's maid of honor at her big shotgun wedding happening SOON. (Okay, she only confirmed the first half of that sentence.) Jessica will stand next to Ashlee, her soft weeping slowly progressing into total hysterics as she mourns both the loss of her own marriage and the loss of her little sister's future. Actually, she's probably psyched about that last part. She's probably like, "Heck yeah, now the little preggers bitch can't keep stealing my spotlight! She's gonna be stuck at home with a screaming baby and a loving husband while I'm off pursuing my fire-hot film career! Oh, wait ..."

The Evil Beet
Celebrity gossip with an evil twist.

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