Best bet this weekend: The Departed

If you've seen the Hong Kong cops-and-mobsters flick Infernal Affairs, upon which Martin Scorsese's slam-bang action crime drama The Departed is based, for gawd's sake, don't tell anyone just how sly and twisty it is. Because Scorsese's -- and screenwriter William Monahan's -- transfer of this astonishingly clever tale from the Far East to Boston's mean streets is one of those rare international remakes that honors the source while making it uniquely original at the same time. The "mick" culture of Boston's law enforcement agencies is as much a character here as the boys in blue and the creatures of the criminal underworld are. And you will get caught up in their game of trading places as a cop goes undercover in the mob, and a mobster goes undercover as a cop: I was rather down on the idea of Matt Damon (as the bad guy) and Leonardo DiCaprio (as the good guy who's kinda a bad guy too), but they are simply fantastic, DiCaprio in particular. Leo might actually have had a chance of stealing the movie if Jack Nicholson weren't also here, as a street boss who's like the Godfather as played by the Joker.

It's hard to imagine a less likely Employee of the Month than idiot comedian Dane Cook -- maybe Tara Reid at Mensa headquarters? -- but pair him up with boobalicious Jessica Simpson, and you've got a movie sure to appeal to 13-year-old boys of all ages. Everyone else can safely avoid without worrying that they're missing a vital work of great artistic significance.

The first movie of an America that approves of torture has arrived. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning is worse than just a pointless remake of a film that remains psychologically terrifying today (and hence doesn't need to be remade) -- it's pointlessly sadistic, reveling in the bodily suffering of the victims of cannibalistic thrill-killers, who here are made the heroes. This is a truly stomach-turning movie, one that should be seen by no one.

Indie watch: Two filmmakers who've earned recent critical and arthouse love jump into the awards race early this weekend. In the Bedroom director Todd Field is back in action -- inasmuch as suburban angst can be deemed "action" -- with Little Children, in which Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson get naughty with each other between the sheets even though they're not married ... or at least, not married to each other. Think Desperate Stay-at-Home Parents, minus the goofy, plus Oscar cred. And Hedwig and the Angry Inch's John Cameron Mitchell returns with Shortbus, which is also about sex and anxiety, though here in the big city. Is anyone anywhere sexually happy, or just not in the movies?

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MaryAnn Johanson
author of The Totally Geeky Guide to The Princess Bride
minder of FlickFilosopher.com

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