Chapter Six: "The Line":

Peter and Irish Girl decide to head to Montreal, which is what they had pretty much already decided to do at the end of the last episode. Which is but the first in a long line of scenes in which pretty much nothing interesting or exciting happens, but everyone's got something to say about how nothing is happening.

Claire has two new superpowers: she is getting super annoying, and super contradictory. She's fine with lying to her dad about dating Superboy, but she's upset that she's lied about cheerleading. So she tries out for the squad, but can't get a spot on it until she and Superboy pull a prank on Bitch Cheerleader Captain. Man, imagine how much better high school would have been if all us geeks had had superpowers.

Mohinder, continuing to prove that he's the Dumbest Smart Guy Ever, revolts against his Creepy Boss Guy at The Company, refusing to inject Monica with a modified version of that Hero Virus that will, supposedly, kill her power without otherwise hurting her. That's not what makes him dumb, this is: Creepy Boss Guy has a stunning and rapid change of heart and fawns all over Mohinder, thanking him for being The Company's conscience. And Monhinder, the idiot, falls for it. And then Creepy Boss Guy returns Monica, unhurt, to New Orleans with hugs and prezzies and love from The Company, but he sics Nikki, who has drunk the Company Kool-Aid, on Mohinder. She's his new partner. (I'm guessing The Company eliminated nice Nikki and kept mean and violent Jessica.)

Sylar, Maya, and Alejandro drive around Mexico and talk about stuff they already talked about in previous episodes. Sylar eggs Maya on to use her Black Death on a vigilante border patrol gang, then later he tells Alejandro -- foolishly assuming that Alejandro understands no English whatsoever -- that he, Sylar, is going to kill Maya and Alejandro once he, Sylar, gets his powers back. Why is everyone on this show so freakin' dumb?

Ando gets more of Hiro's scroll translated, but he gets pissed off when the translator jumps ahead to the action. So they rewind for more endless talking. What does any of the Japan stuff have to do with anything? Who is Kensei, really? Why should we care? Pretty Japanese Girl decides that she's actually in love with Hiro, and she shifts her allegiance and heart to him from Kensei over the course of a single commercial break.

Kensei is, of course, now pissed, and gets to utter the single worst line of dialogue of the series, ever, to Hiro: "First you show me that I can be harmed by no weapon, and then you cut me deeper than any blade possibly could." Then he knocks Hiro out and walks away, perhaps hoping to escape the series altogether, leaving Pretty Japanese Girl and her father to the mercy of White Beard, and we still don't know why we should care.

In Ukraine, Yakov Smirnoff gets a visit from Mr. Bennet and the Haitian. They steal memories from Yakov Smirnoff until he tells them what they want to know about the paintings. (Maybe the Haitian could steal our memories of this episode ... except; wait, no I've forgotten it on my own already.) The only interesting moment in the episode: Mr. Bennet kills Yakov Smirnoff once he's done questioning the Russian. I'd forgotten in all the recent father-daughter bonding stuff how ruthless he was last year. So maybe there's some hope.

Coming next week: Finally, the actual story will begin! In June 2008, New York City is deserted, a super virus has destroyed the world's population, and the Heroes have to stop it. Please, someone say something like, "Squash the bug, save the world." Please.

MaryAnn Johanson (email me)
reviews, reviews, reviews! at FlickFilosopher.com

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