The Associated Press reported last week that a couple of Philadelphia TV hosts had apologized for a promotion that involved giving away a bullet-riddled jacket in conjunction with the movie Shoot 'Em Up.

Such a promotion sounds only mildly tacky until you remember that this was in Philadelphia, where gun violence is a serious, ongoing problem. The city is on track to have its highest murder rate in a decade. The motto "City of Brotherly Love" has been replaced with "If You Visit Our City, You Will Be Murdered." The statue of Benjamin Franklin at Independence Hall has him holding a pistol and saying, "Dost thou feel lucky, punk?"

So the Good Morning Philadelphia anchors apologized for the lapse in taste, and all is well. But it got us thinking: yeah, it was tasteless to give away a jacket full of bullet holes in conjunction with Shoot 'Em Up. But surely there are other movie promotions that would be even more ill-conceived and misguided. And it is our duty to think of them!

Spider-Man: Poisonous spiders that, when they bite you, give you all the powers inherent in being bitten by a poisonous spider (e.g., death).

Little Miss Sunshine: Gauze bandages for wrapping up self-inflicted wrist wounds, just like Steve Carell wears in the movie!

I Know Who Killed Me: Bottles of Lindsay Lohan's favorite liquor.

Children of Men: Babies.

Halloween (2007): A T-shirt that smells like Rob Zombie.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: The city of Phoenix.

Rocky Balboa: A box of Depend adult diapers.

The Invasion: A free ticket to the movie if you just promise to use it. Please! Someone watch our movie!

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