"Expect the expected, enjoy the eye candy, and hold tight for the jumpy moments... Nispel's 2009 remake adds nothing new."

Three things make a predictable teen slasher: gorgeous, dopey chicks; pumped-up, hunky boys; and one deranged nutter hell-bent on exterminating the lot of them. Tick. Tick. Tick. Director Marcus Nispel's 2009 remake of the Jason Voorhees saga adds absolutely nothing new to the franchise -- except more risqué teen tomfoolery and amusing comments, doing exactly as expected: provides sexy teen frolics, before a less-than-willing line-up of young victims for madman Jason to 'play' with and rearrange body parts in his own unique, grizzly way. Everything is stylised, down to the light seeping through the forest trees, to the gelled hair-dos. It's 'filming-by-numbers', textbook stuff for those needing their Friday 13th fix on the most superstitious day of the year.

This film also plays on the 'sophisticated' townies verses the 'simple' country folk theme, too, like many a thriller beforehand. The townies are 'punished' for venturing into unknown territory and shaking up the status quo in the mysterious Crystal Lake, and as film theory goes, each promiscuous character -- male or female -- is 'punished' for being sexual active on screen, particularly the naked women. The teen female audience are bound to drool over one of the chiselled-chinned males, like motorcycle hero Clay, played by Jared Padalecki, or egotistical bad boy Trent, played by Travis Van Winkle, whilst the lads will lust after the tanned flesh of blondes Chelsea (Willa Ford) and Bree (Julianna Guill), or brunette heroine Jenna, played by the impish Danielle Panabaker. Throw in some risqué lines, for example, round-one victim Richie (Ben Feldman) saying, "I don't eat fish", and his dizzy, voluptuous girlfriend, Amanda (America Olivo), sniggering in response, "Not what you told me!", and the heady formula is set in motion, long before Jason 'the one-man killing machine' (Derek Mears) first comes crashing onto the scene.

As for the gory details (not to spoil them all), one teen is BBQ-ed, another is sliced and diced, and lots get mounted on pointy objects like hunting trophies, but the best is the motorboat scene for sheer titillating and inane killing pleasure. Apart from our gallant heroes who go in search of Clay's missing sister, Whitney (Amanda Righetti), the rest are completely expendable and totally vile human beings, so you actually relish Jason putting them out of their affected, egocentric misery. Game on!

Expect the expected, enjoy the eye candy, and hold tight for the jumpy moments. The Jason films have none of the sinister, terrifying presence of John Carpenter's classic 1978 suspense-filled Halloween with its resident loony, Michael Myers, but for experiencing the slicing-and-dicing thrills of a faceless madman without a valid cause, Friday The 13th (2009) certainly delivers -- once again.

Synopsis

Searching for his missing sister, Clay heads up to the eerie woods of legendary Crystal Lake where he stumbles on the creaky remains of rotting old cabins that lie in wait behind moss-covered trees. And that's not the only thing hiding under the brush. Against the advice of police and cautions from the locals, Clay pursues what few leads he has with the help of a young woman he meets among a group of college kids up for an all-thrills weekend. But they are about to find much more than they bargained for. Little do they know, they've entered the domain of one of the most terrifying spectres in American film history - the infamous killer who haunts Crystal Lake armed with a razor-sharp machete... Jason Voorhees.

Film Facts

Official UK site: http://www.fridaythe13th-themovie.com/intl/uk/

UK Release Date: 13th February 2009

Director: Marcus Nispel

Writers: Damian Shannon, Mark Swift, Mark Wheaton

Cast: Jared Padalecki ('Clay Miller'), Amanda Righetti ('Whitney Miller'), Danielle Panabaker ('Jenna'), Jonathan Sadowski ('Wade'), Travis Van Winkle ('Trent'), Aaron Yoo ('Chewie'), Derek Mears ('Jason Voorhees'), Arlen Escarpeta ('Lawrence'), Juliana Guill ('Bree'), Ben Feldman ('Richie'), Willa Ford ('Chelsea'), Ryan Hansen ('Nolan'), Nick Mennell ('Mike'), America Olivo ('Amanda'), Kyle Davis ('Donnie'), Richard Burgi ('Officer Bracke')

UK Distributor: Paramount Pictures UK

Certificate: 18

Run-time: TBC

Recommend (0)

|  Comments (0)

|  Email

|  Share

Share  Facebook Digg del.icio.us