With the upswing of wacky sports comedies since the wild success of Dodgeball, one thing has become apparent. We are running out of sports to laugh at. Very shortly the world will be exposed to Balls of Fury, the wacky Ping Pong comedy that seems to also be a parody of the kung fu Bruce Lee classic Enter the Dragon. So what's left? With the impending strike and Hollywood's mad rush to greenlight anything that MIGHT turn out to be good, I thought I'd do my part to help the cause. So here are some sports, combined with ready-made plots, for your Monday morning pitches next week.

Polo
Okay, let's start off with an easy one. Meet Mark, a young handsome stable boy for a wealthy New England family. Mark slowly begins to fall in love with the family's daughter Mary, who has a nasty boyfriend named Chet. Chet leads the local polo club, is world renown for his abilities and has plans on demolishing the local rec center where orphan Mark grew up to build a new, fancier Polo Clubhouse. Can Mark learn the skills he needs to beat Chet at his own game from the mysterious gardener Franco, or will Mary marry Chet and honeymoon in the new polo cubhouse. Plenty of horse manure possibilities with this one!

Water Polo
It's just like Polo, but without the horses. I'm sure of it. Meet Mark, a lifeguard at a country club. Mark falls for rich girl Mary, who has a boyfriend Chet who is king of the local water polo scene. He also has plans on demolishing the local rec center (where Mark volunteers on the weekend) in order to build a new, fancier water polo club. Can Mark team up with a ragtag bunch of local youths and train hard enough to beat Chet and his team of rich thugs and save the rec center while also winning the love of Mary? And how does the mysterious swim coach Franco fit into all of this?

Cricket
If there's one thing Americans do best, it's beat the crap out of other countries at their own sports. And that's exactly what happens when a bunch of nerds, dorks and bratty youngsters go overseas and get picked on by the local cricket club. Not only do the kids have to learn the crazy, nonsensical foreign rules, but they have to beat the bullies at their own game. To save their rec center. Oh, and the bad guy is named Chet.

Jai Alai
I don't know what this is, but it sure sounds exciting. And get this brainstorm for characters: Andy Samberg and Jon Heder. High Alai. You feel me? If the idea of two stoned potheads chucking balls at one another at 180 mph doesn't make you chortle, then you're made of wood my friend. This is comedy gold! Oh, and they, like totally gotta save the rec center, man, cause Mary works there and chicks, like, dig guys that save their job. Sweet.

Australian Rules Chess
This not actually being a real sport can't stop it from being a huge mega hit. The world of full contact chess is exciting, mysterious, and we can even save a rec center with the help of an aging chess champion named Franco. I'm sure we can fit someone named Mary and Chet in there somewhere. I can see the catchphrase T-shirts already. Checkmate, bitch!

Recommend (0)

|  Comments (0)

|  Email

|  Share

Share  Facebook Digg del.icio.us