This week on Project Runway, Sarah Jessica Parker made an appearance.

That’s it. That’s the whole episode.

Okay, not actually, but, well, it’s the most exciting thing that happened and, by next week, it’ll be the only thing you remember about this week’s episode anyways.

Things started off with Heidi Klum – still not preggers, damnit (do I have to do everything myself, Seal?) – announcing that the designers would be creating outfits for a pop-culture and fashion icon this week. Sitting at home, I couldn’t help but wonder who it would be, just like the designers. It seemed an awful lot like a trick, like the icon would turn out to be somebody disappointingly lame like Jon Bon Jovi or the other guy from Wham! Instead, it turned out to be…oh wait, I ruined that surprise for you, didn’t I? Well, at least Sarah Jessica is actually a pop-culture and fashion icon, so I didn’t feel cheated when she showed up all exceedingly shy and smiley.

Seems she has this clothing line called Bitten, which is sold nationwide at chain store called Steve and Barry’s, which, if you’re not familiar with them, is best known for its university sportswear and funny logo tee-shirts dripping with sexual innuendo – you know the kind, where hammering doesn’t just mean using a hammer. Very classy stuff, so, though I’m not familiar with Bitten, the fact that it’s sold at Steve and Barry’s, a place I generally shop at for disposable undershirts, speaks volumes to me about its quality.

Because I’m guessing using Project Runway designers is cheaper than hiring the generally lousy ones she probably has to work with most of the time, Sarah Jessica asked for fourteen design pitches for her fall-winter line. After interviews, she chose seven of these – from Elisa, Kit, Victorya, Marion, Ricky, Christian, and last week’s winner, Rami – who then had to choose partners from the remaining seven to help them realize their visions. The goal: create high-end American sportswear for affordable prices. Their budget: a whopping $15 each, in order to achieve a retail price of $40.

Most of the team-ups worked out well, though Sweet P did her share of complaining when she ended up partnered with Elisa – a New Age designer who marks her designs with, get this, spit. Christian, still annoyingly overconfident, confided to the cameras that he expected to make it to the top two again, only to be told, “Nope, sorry, we’re going with somebody else who’s boring,” in reference to Rami’s win. Oh, and Ricky cried a lot. I mean, a lot a lot. Hell, he cried just at the chance to work with Sarah Jessica. Then again, he took off his train conductor’s hat this week and tried on a baseball cap – well, at least part of the time – so that’s progress, right?

In the end, Sweet P found herself genuinely surprised when Elisa’s design actually worked and landed them in the top two, though they lost the win and immunity to Victorya’s design and collaboration with Spartan Kevin who I really want to hear yell, “Tonight, we dine in hell!”

In a bit of cosmic justice, though, Christian (and his partner, Carmen) ended up in the bottom two alongside Marion and Steve (who my girlfriend hates because he won’t stop squinting like French Stewart). Ultimately, Marion’s Oliver Twist persona failed to pay off, just like his ridiculously silly poncho that Heidi said made his model look like a homeless Pocahontas. He was out, while Steve, much to my girlfriend’s chagrin, was told he was still in.

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