I was pondering how to recommend a purchase or rental of Definitely, Maybe to you when a thought occurred to me. "Hey, wait a sec," the thought started ... "They really aren't making them like Definitely, Maybe anymore, are they?"

With that notion in mind I started doing a little research. I emphasize "little" because I had to break for lunch somewhere mid-thought. But the results I unearthed were staggering. And interesting. They both staggered and interested me. Before I let you in on my conclusions I'd like to take you on a little data journey.

Consider the following list (all box-office numbers are domestic):

2003
Elf -- $173m (83% on Rotten Tomatoes)
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days -- $105m (42%)
Love Actually -- $59m (64%)

2004
Meet the Fockers -- $279m (39%)
50 First Dates -- $121m (44%)
Along Came Polly -- $88m (27%)

2005
Mr. and Mrs. Smith -- $186m (58%)
Monster-in-Law -- $83m (16%)
Bewitched -- $63m (25%)
The Family Stone -- $60m (53%)

2006
The Break-Up -- $118m (33%)
Failure to Launch -- $88m (26%)
You, Me and Dupree -- $76m (22%)
The Holiday -- $63m (47%)

2007
Knocked Up -- $149m (91%)
Enchanted -- $128m (94%)
P.S. I Love You -- $54m (21%)
Music and Lyrics -- $51m (63%)

2008
Sex and the City -- $132m (52%)
What Happens in Vegas -- $78m (28%)
27 Dresses -- $76m, (39%)
Fool's Gold -- $70m, (10%)
Forgetting Sarah Marshall -- $62m, (85%)

Looking at this list, I draw two conclusions:

1.) Critics HATE romantic comedies. For the record that's six "certified fresh" romantic comedies in six years on Rotten Tomatoes. There was a three-year stretch (2004-2006) where evidently a good romantic comedy wasn't released at all. Of the six there are major problems with even labeling some of them as true rom-coms. Sure, it's a battle of semantics, but even a hardened skeptic would admit that Forgetting Sarah Marshall bears little resemblance to When Harry Met Sally.

Frankly, my opinion is that critics were off on The Holiday, 50 First Dates, The Family Stone and The Break-Up. These are all very watchable films. Nevertheless, the average romantic comedy received a 46% on Rotten Tomatoes -- and that's with the inflation that Knocked Up and Enchanted brought to the table.

2.) "True" romantic comedies of merit are becoming extinct. My definition of "true" here is a film about relationships that's infused with comedy without a major gimmick being present. A film such as Love Actually is the modern classic of the field. Elf has a gimmick. Enchanted does too, as real life rarely occurs in animated form. Knocked Up is a funny film but it lacks a certain romance if you ask me. Regardless of what you think of Heigl, she spoke for many women when she knocked her character in the film and pointed out that girls were merely there as a comedic vehicle for the fellas. Those that do qualify as "true" invariably are terrible films. Fool's Gold anyone?

Conclusion: A critically loved "true" romantic comedy that scores at the box office is becoming non-existent.

So then, we're going to have to figure out another way to judge romantic comedies around here. Knocked Up and Enchanted are the closest examples of critical and box-office success we have, but I've already pointed out they are lacking bonafide legitimacy where being a "romantic comedy" is concerned.

Side note: can we blame Kate Hudson? Probably. She's single-handedly done her best to destroy the genre. She's made gimmick-free rom-coms but she's also made terrible movies. However, I'm not here to cast blame (on anyone other than Kate Hudson). I'm here to offer a solution. Allow myself to introduce myself. I'm going to lead you through this romantic comedy haze starting with Definitely, Maybe. I don't understand why the average critic hates romantic comedies (although my theory involves their childhoods), but I'm here to help.

Definitely, Maybe scored a 73% on the Tomatometer. Solid. I gave it a very respectable "B" grade. Furthermore, it's a legit look at relationships, both father-daughter and boyfriend-girlfriend. It has the lovable Ryan Reynolds in the lead and it offers interesting real-life conflicts. Rachel Weisz, Isla Fisher, and Elizabeth Banks all play believable love interests. And unlike in Mr. and Mrs. Smith no one tries to kill anyone.

So give it a try. I feel like we're practically engaged already after this column. If you find our relationship to be a healthy one I'll be your new source for rom-com suggestions. We'll call it the "laremy-meter." I'll take the bullets (What Happens In Vegas..., Made of Honor) so you don't have to. Allow me to save you the cash. And when I find something that pulls at my old heartstrings you'll know about it first. It's the least I can do given I fully was into Pat Conroy novels for a summer and a half. There's no downside here. Over and out.

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