It's only a matter of time before the sordid tale of Jon & Kate Plus 8 makes its way to a full-fledged big screen Hollywood film. There's something for everyone in this story of two people and their offspring: Romance, drama, intrigue, and adorable children. As a nation we found ourselves intoxicated by the heady blend of Kate Gosselin's shrill drill-sergeant demeanor as Jon Gosselin's passive-aggressive hang-dog attitude laid the framework for a veritable riot of children spilling forth from the Gosselin home. We watched with rapt attention as doctor's visits and school drama filled their tiny lives, only hoping for more. Of course, the kids won't stay cute and small for long, and with Jon and Kate's pending divorce in the works, you can bet that the wheels are churning even now on a possible film. Let's take a look at our three possible sets of couples to play the infamous parents!

The Hilarious Take

If we're going for the life of Jon and Kate as seen through a looking glass of pure comedy then look no further than the hilarious Christina Applegate and John Cho. Known for her roles in numerous TV shows, most recently Samantha Who?, Christina Applegate can match the fevered intensity of Kate, and as a naturally expressive person may be able to bring some much needed levity to the potentially depressing situation. John Cho is well versed in comedy as well. He most recently appeared in the latest Star Trek film, perhaps paving a way for bigger and brighter things such as portraying a hilariously upbeat Jon Gosselin on the big screen.

While real-life Kate and Jon may have bickered tiredly over the last few seasons, in the film version of their lives, these small squabbles will turn into moving montages only to be quickly overcome as the laughter peals. Imagine the laughs as it’s revealed that they are having six more kids when they only wanted one! The aforementioned kids can be played by a steady succession of the very cutest Welch's grape juice kids from across the years. Even the early stages of the sextuplets lives are rife with comedic possibility as diaper changes and bottle feedings go awry, and Jon and Kate are outnumbered. Perhaps with a script penned in part by Judd Apatow, this dream team could make light of the pain and let us remember why we first fell in love with the Gosselins.

The Art House Depiction

Katherine Heigl and Sung Kang could provide a bit classier, darker and edgier take on the totally American couple. Kang is best known for his work in The Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift, and the luminous Heigl is known for her work in Grey's Anatomy. Not perhaps the best pedigree on paper for a serious film, but the potential is certainly there. In this more artistic rendering of their lives, drama and endless discussion takes center stage as Kate and Jon tearfully fight for their marriage against a hazy backdrop of upbeat indie music and hazy cigarette smoke. The children make rare appearances, and perhaps they are felt only as a constant pressure, voices in a distant room as Jon and Kate attempt to talk through what it is that they want.

Kang can play dark and brooding, as a weepy Heigl wends her way through a plot that heavily underlines her difficult pregnancy, and though there is joy in the birth of her children, we are reminded that perhaps love is not all you need. Screaming matches and sobbing fights push the envelope to a Revolutionary Road degree, and the screen eventually goes dark as two voices continue to berate and tear-down. A final scene is set perhaps five years in the future, as a quiet Kate Gosselin sees ex-husband Jon from across a crowded room, and as he smiles and lifts a hand, she begins to wave before dropping her hand and settling into an easy smile. The script can be heavily worked by Steven Soderbergh which should cast the right pallor over the proceedings.

The Real Contenders

Now what people are likely most interested in is not the hilarious blunders or the overly dramatic screaming matches, but instead a more lifelike approach that contains some answers. What is it like to grow up with a camera crew? What does it mean as a person, to have eight children? Tammy Lynn Michaels was made for this role. She has the look down perfectly, as well as a proven ability to play somewhat neurotic in shows such as Popular and The L Word, on which she had a brief stint. Likewise, Ken Jeong has proved his comedic worth in recent films such as Role Models and The Hangover, and while he may not be actively seeking a foray into the world of serious films, nonetheless he is our ideal pick for Jon Gosselin.

This film would follow Jon and Kate from their first meeting at a picnic through the birth of their two daughters, and that brief time as a normal family before the other six made their arrival. From that first moment that the Gosselins knew they'd be having six more children, the fear and stress must have set in, though they obviously believed themselves capable of making it through. Just as we marvel at the miracle of six children being born at once, a feat that seems almost impossible as a human, we marvel at a family attempting to raise eight young children, when one or two is usually more than enough. The film might change things around a bit, ignore the existence of the television show altogether, instead focusing in on the smaller triumphs and little victories, maybe even letting us believe that Jon and Kate might make things work, for all time.

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