Casting the 2008 Presidential Election Movie

We look at the only political question that really matters: Who will play the candidates in the inevitable movie?
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin listens as her running mate US Republican Presidential Candidate Senator John McCain speaks during a rally at Lehigh University in Bethlehem, Pennslyvania, October 8, 2008
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin listens as her running mate US Republican Presidential Candidate Senator John McCain speaks during a rally at Lehigh University in Bethlehem, Pennslyvania, October 8, 2008 - AFP/Getty Images
Eric D. Snider

Oliver Stone's upcoming film, W., purports to be a biography -- a rather hilarious one, judging by the trailers -- of George W. Bush, who you may recall is currently the president. Making a film about a president who's still in the White House is a gutsy move, but it might reap dividends at the box office. And if it does, it could spark a trend. And if it sparks a trend, we want in on the ground floor. That is how we roll with regard to the sparking of trends.

So when someone decides to make a movie about the historic and highly dramatic presidential campaign currently under way, we hope that person will look no further than here, as we set about ...

Casting the 2008 Presidential Election Movie

Barack Obama: Dwayne Johnson
He'd have to slim down a bit (i.e., stop spending 22 hours a day at the gym), but Dwayne Johnson has Obama's good looks and charm. Bonus: "Barack" rhymes with "The Rock."

The Rock as Barack Obama


John McCain: Steve Martin
Martin is moving into his "elder statesman" years, and he has the shock of white hair. He's also good at alternating between seriousness and fatherly pleasantness. Bonus: Both have made multiple Saturday Night Live appearances.

Steve Martin as John McCain


Joe Biden: Bob Eubanks
Eubanks is a game show host, not an actor, but come on -- that smile! He was born to play Biden. Bonus: Being a politician and being a game show host really aren't that different.

Bob Eubanks as Joe Biden


Sarah Palin: Mariska Hargitay
Tina Fey is great, but too obvious. Hargitay also bears a striking resemblance to Palin; plus, she's a better dramatic actress than Fey, and surely this movie will have drama in it. Bonus: Both are women working in a male-dominated field (Palin in politics, Hargitay in the Special Victims Unit of the NYPD).

Mariska Hartigay as Sarah Palin


Hillary Clinton: Tilda Swinton
OK, the physical resemblance is slight. We're thinking more of personality here: very intelligent, somewhat chilly, not a person to be treated lightly. Bonus: Clinton/Swinton. Say it out loud!

Tilda Swinton as Hillary Clinton


Mike Huckabee: Kevin Spacey
Obviously. Duh. Bonus: They're identical twins separated at birth anyway.

Kevin Spacey as Mike Huckabee


Rudy Giuliani: Robert Duvall
The only drawback is that Duvall might be a little old for the part now. But we understand they can do wonders with makeup nowadays. Bonus: Giuliani is Italian-American; Duvall was in The Godfather.

Robert Duvall as Rudy Giuliani


* * * * *

Eric D. Snider will be played by Brad Pitt, obviously. Eric's website will be played by Google.


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