And I'm sad, too!

If Brad Pitt can get old, anyone can get old.

Pitt, 43, spoke recently to Details magazine about being over the hill. (And they airbrushed the hell out of him on the cover. They may as well have just photographed the figure of him at Madame Tussaud's.)

"One thing sucks," he says. "Your face kind of goes. Your body's not quite working the same."

And it wouldn't be an interview these days without a discussion of The World's Most Important Person. "This Paris Hilton quest for fame ... she's blissfully oblivious," he laughs, recalling how he and Jolie had been traveling for a month and turned on the TV. "And on comes Paris Hilton, going to jail. And so we just turned it off again."

You know, Brad, when your lovely life partner was Paris Hilton's age, she was wearing Billy Bob Thornton's blood in a vial around her neck and talking to red carpet reporters about how they'd just banged in the limo. That was years before she was the humanitarian husband-stealer she's become today. I'm just saying. For all you know, in a few years, Paris Hilton will be married to a Nobel Prize winner and distributing AIDS medications in the Congo as a Goodwill Ambassador. You know? And I can't believe I'm standing up for Paris Hilton here, but Jesus Christ, Brad, your perfect little girlfriend used to be a perfect little headcase.

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