Amy Kane,
Jan 16, 2008
I gave up on One Tree Hill partway through season 3. There was so much else on that was good, and OTH, while intensely entertaining, is basically crap. In two and a half seasons (spanning just a little over a year in the timeline of the show), there had been two major car accidents, an attempted murder, and a school shooting. It was the school shooting that did it for me; the show is so campy and tongue-in-cheek that it seemed like bad taste for it to address such a serious subject. The fact that it was used to set up a Dallas-style fratricide was the last straw.
What with scripted TV in short supply this winter, I decided to give OTH another shot, and caught up with the episodes I’d missed on DVD. Near the end of season 4, the “kids” in the cast took a road trip to a small town in Texas. Some of the girls at the local high school had entered a contest to have the show shot in their town. The plot of the episode involved the Honey Grove, TX high school prom, and real kids from the school were in the episode and as if putting the cast (in their mid-twenties) up against actual 17-year-olds wasn’t enough, the script also poked fun at previous preposterous storylines. That was the point at which One Tree Hill won me back. It may be crappy camp, but at least it is self-aware crappy camp.
If, like me, you have missed a few seasons of One Tree Hill, or if you’ve never watched it before but would prefer to give it a try because you’re not into American Idol, I thought I would provide you with a quick primer to help you catch up on the show. It’s easy! Almost all the main characters are just like a character you are already familiar with from another teen drama! Plus, if you get confused, just remember that everything comes back to teen pregnancy sooner or later. There’s more of that going around than you can shake an EPT stick at (although I don’t recommend waving those things around, because more often than not they’ve been peed on).
Lucas Scott (Chad Michael Murray)
He is the son of a single mom, Karen, who has yet to make a season 5 appearance. Lucas’s dad (Dan Scott, the most ridiculous villain never to twirl a mustache) abandoned them and shortly thereafter knocked up his college girlfriend, resulting in younger brother Nathan. Lucas’s early promise as a basketball player was cut short due to a fatal heart condition. He started drafting a novel towards the end of high school, which was successfully published a couple of years later. Now he’s coaching the Tree Hill High basketball team while trying to work through his writer’s block.
Melodrama Stats: One near-fatal car crash, one heart attack, sent his mother into early labor and a coma while exposing his estranged father for murdering his uncle.
Teen Drama Doppelganger: Freakish Rory Gilmore/Dylan McKay hybrid. He’s got the bookish product of teen pregnancy thing down, but he’s also got the brooding, can’t-decide-between-the-blonde-and-the-brunette thing going on.
Teen Pregnancy Connection: Lucas himself is the product of Karen and Dan’s high school romance, he was the designated daddy during both of Brooke’s pregnancy scares, and he’s the godfather to Nathan and Haley’s baby.
Nathan Scott (James Lafferty)
Nathan is Lucas’s little brother. Dan actually married Nathan’s mom, Deb (and then she slept with his brother and tried to kill him, and he tried to kill her, and they got divorced). Nathan started dating Lucas’s best friend, Haley, in order to get at him and she quickly turned him into a good guy after all. Nathan and Haley got married during junior year of high school, and pregnant during senior year. Now their son is four years old and Nathan’s pro basketball dreams have been shattered by an injury. He started season 5 feeling all sorry for himself, and looking like Jesus (or like Billy Crudup in Almost Famous, which is pretty much the same thing, really).
Melodrama Stats: One near-fatal car crash (a race-car crash, no less!), almost drowned while trying to save his uncle and a slutty classmate during yet another car crash, got involved in a gambling ring during the state basketball championship.
Teen Drama Doppelganger: Logan Echolls. Originally introduced to the audience as an alpha-jerk, but gradually overcame jerky parentage to become a decent guy for the girl he loves.
Teen Pregnancy Connection: Nathan’s specialty is the more unique form of teen pregnancy: within wedlock. His parents got married, and he and Haley were married almost a year before she got pregnant.
Peyton Sawyer (Hilarie Burton)
Peyton was originally dating Nathan, but was lured away by Lucas’s broodiness (while Nathan was simultaneously lured away by Haley’s wholesomeness). Was the acute angle in a love-triangle with Lucas and Brooke for most of seasons 1-4. (Although she took time out to date teen-dad Jake, and Pete Wentz.) Season 5 Peyton has just returned to Tree Hill from LA, where she was a flunky at a record company.
Melodrama Stats: Two dead moms (birth and adopted), a dad whose offshore drilling job means frequent peril, got shot during in the school shooting, was almost raped and murdered (TWICE!) by a psychotic stalker who pretended to be her long lost half-brother. Her real long lost half-brother has been shipped off to Iraq.
Teen Drama Doppelganger: Are you kidding? So Kelly Taylor! You know she’s gonna be a burn victim sometime soon.
Teen Pregnancy Connection: It’s unclear whether birth mom Ellie was a teen when Peyton was conceived but it’s likely. Also, she was heavily involved with Jake Jageilski, a teen dad whose custody battle forced him to leave town.
Brooke Davis (Sophia Bush)
Brooke is often the comic relief, and as such she has managed to stay largely melodrama free. (If you don’t count some absentee parents, a couple of pregnancy scares, and a cheating scandal.) Brooke and Lucas were an on/off couple for most of the first three seasons, but seem to be over for good now. She started her own fashion line during high school and is now a successful designer with a big corporation, but isn’t happy in the glam life and has also returned to Tree Hill. The drama quotient may be upped now that we know that the bitch CEO of her company also happens to be her mommy dearest.
Melodrama Stats: Surprisingly few. She tagged along during Peyton’s second stalker confrontation, but hasn’t even been admitted to the hospital or anything.
Teen Drama Doppelganger: Cordelia Chase. She’s a brunette fashionista who might at first seem superficial, but proves herself loyal to her friends.
Teen Pregnancy Connection: Has had two fake pregnancy scares. The first was because she was afraid of losing Lucas to Peyton, the second was to divert the rumor mill’s attention from Haley’s real pregnancy. She’s also the godmother to Haley and Nathan’s son.
Haley James Scott (Bethany Joy Galeotti)
Lucas’s best friend since childhood, Haley initially got close to Nathan in order to get him to take it easy on Lucas. They quickly grew closer and were married within a few months of starting to date. Now she’s teaching at Tree Hill High and trying to get Nathan to stop feeling sorry for himself.
Melodrama Stats: Almost split from Nathan when she left town to tour with her music. Was hit while pregnant with a car driven by Nathan’s revenge-seeking gambling connection.
Teen Drama Doppelganger: Joey Potter. The quintessential girl next door, she’s studious like Joey, and also has absentee parents. Both dreamed of bigger and better things while waiting tables at a greasy spoon. The only difference is that (surprisingly, given the bed-hopping that goes on here) her best-friend relationship with Lucas has always been strictly platonic -- no crushes on either side.
Teen Pregnancy Connection: Had to find a maternity prom dress and went into labor while giving her valedictory speech at high school graduation.
There you have it: the wealth of my One Tree Hill knowledge. Season 5 will inevitably involve the introduction of some new characters (K-Fed Alert!), but this should be all you need to catch up with the core group. Go forth and watch with pleasure (but you might want to read up on the PBS schedule in case anybody at work asks you on Wednesday morning what you watched the night before).
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Amy Kane spends as much quality time with her television as possible, when she's not busy at her day job as a cube dweller.
