Ah, slow news days.

We're mere hours away from the holiday weekend. Traffic is down everywhere on the web because you guys aren't sitting at your desk web-surfing while you should be doing expense reports. No, it's just past noon on the West coast, which means most of the nation is in a beachside bar tossing back Coronas, as far away from a computer as possible, and Hollywood's publicists and reporters are right there with them. No one's breaking interesting stories. So you know what that means:

Andy. Dick.

Hollywood's favorite cokehead (assuming the top position now that Lindsay's in rehab) performed at the Funny Bone Comedy Club in Columbus, Ohio last weekend, in what the club's manager calls his worst experience with a performer in the club's history.

Dick made inappropriate comments while on stage, groped patrons, took women into the men's room and urinated on the floor and on at least one person.

That's right. He urinated on someone. This seems plausible, as on Monday, photos surfaced of Andy in Ohio, as he showed his naughty bits to an eager fan while urinating.

The next day:

A limousine driver was to meet Dick early Monday morning at a hotel near the club, Stroupe said, but he couldn't be found and missed that morning's flight to Los Angeles.

Dick was across town, where he was issued a citation for urinating on the sidewalk by Columbus policeman John Fantin. Police eventually escorted Dick back to the hotel, Stroupe said.

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