For the record, here are my official picks. Note: Scroll to 5:47pm for start of Academy Award Winners

11:00am: Quick programming note: First off, I've been watching a clip from Gladiator to get myself mentally prepared. So yeah, it's going to be quite exciting here in live-blog world.

Secondly, all respect to Bill Simmons, the man I consider the creator of the live blog (before they were even called blogs). I've done my Oscar version for the past five years but plenty of people (including me) owe SG royalties. Respect.

11:27am: Also, I'll be on the /Filmcast on Monday to discuss Frozen River. I hope you'll tune in. David, Devindra, and Adam are top-notch podcasting people.

11:30am: Speaking of, we did an Oscar Spectacular podcast with predictions, rants, and more. You can download it, listen on iTunes, or listen streaming via RealPlayer via this link.

11:50am: That's it for now. I'm off to pizza-load in preparation for all this big fun. See you soon.

3:16pm: Let's do a quick recap of Oscar craziness: Doubt has four nominations ... but wasn't nominated for Best Picture. Slumdog Millionaire evidently had none of the top performances ... but will win the Academy Award for Best Picture. Figure that one out, then get back to me.

3:30pm: I'm told my Adapted Screenplay pick of Button is way off. Slumdog is evidently a shoe-in. But Button took 20 years to make -- isn't that the very definition of a tough yet great adaptation? Plus, Slumdog was great due to the direction, editing, and cast. The screenplay is decent, but not the best.

3:33pm: Tuning into E! shortly ... just need to take one last shot of Jack to prepare for The Seacrest.

3:38pm: Evidently one of the "secrets" of the night is that some of the presenters, who were NOT announced beforehand, and who will NOT be walking the red carpet, WILL be presenting and they are indeed big, big stars. This is amazing, right? There are going to be actors at The Oscars! Who have won previous Oscars! Can you believe it? Alert the media! I gotta go black out!

3:40pm: The E! Star Tracker points out celebs from about 300 yards away. They appear as little blips on the screen, crowded in amongst the throngs of humanity. Somehow E! lowers the bar for coverage each and every year. It's uncanny (like the X-Men). If ABC's coverage is indeed 80 minutes away I'm going to need a cut man in my corner.

3:44pm: I love that The Girls Next Door finale is hitting television around a year after it broke that the girls moved out. BREAKING NEWS: Right now Seacrest is tormenting the kids from Slumdog Millionaire. Welcome to America, kids! Now get ready for a beating the likes of which only Ryan can deliver. He doesn't bother to pronounce their names, he simply shows a card that has all the names on it. Impressive work there.

3:47pm: Arrrgggghhhh, Ben Lyons! It burns, it burns.

3:47pm: When did I call Danny Boyle as an Oscar candidate? That would be three months ago. I'm merely pointing this out to congratulate myself, Oscar-style.

4:00pm: If my hair were as gray as Jay Manuel's people would take me a lot more seriously. Seacrest vs. Taraji P. Henson on the red carpet right now.

4:01pm: Ryan brings up Taraji's dead father. It's good times on E!

4:04pm: Heidi Klum mentions she was sitting on "one cheek" the entire ride over. I'm hoping the fashion recap explains that one to me, complete with visual aids.

4:07pm: Actual text from my brother Zoah: "High School Musical kids have some beef between each other." One day, when the scientists finally unearth this live blog, they'll be scratching their heads on that one.

4:17pm: Robert Pattinson survives Ryan's onslaught. He evades a ton of Twilight questions and gets in one tiny mention of Little Ashes, his new Dali biopic. Evidently it's due out in May. Stay tuned!

4:18pm: Sarah Jessica Parker confirms Sex and the City 2, although the story isn't set yet.

4:27pm: Seacrest interviews Mickey Rourke. Just for fun, here's an anti-drug commercial:

4:30pm: Josh Brolin on the red carpet. I wonder about these Best Supporting Actor nominees. On one hand, you've gotten a nomination. On the other, you can't possibly win. Still, you put it on the resume, right?

4:34pm: Seacrest states Ron Howard "Can make or break a career in one second." Kind of like a modern day Genghis Kahn?

4:36pm: Ryan to Evan Rachel Wood: "I think I can smell you." Ummmmm.....

4:45pm: Everyone looks great tonight on the red carpet. There are no more fashion emergencies and we no longer need a fashion doctor. Finally, after 80 years, we can close the book on Oscar fashion. We've reached the end of the fashion line. Everyone is fashionable, everything is beautiful, and we can all rest easy. It's over. I've proclaimed it.

4:54pm: They've got Ben to the Lyons up in the skybox, away from the celebs. Probably didn't want him asking for autographs.

4:59pm: Just had a great idea for a red carpet guy. Larry King! He could be all "Slumdog ... greatest movie EVER!" right before seeing Brad Pitt and rocking you with a "Brad Pitt ... greatest movie actor EVER!" It would be riveting television, right? Better than the E! satellite cam at least.

5:01pm: ABC has Tim Gunn and what the stars wore at prior Academy Awards going in the sidebar. Already, this is around 42,000,000 times better than E!'s coverage.

5:04pm: Anyone know what the P. in Taraji P. Henson stands for? Just looked it up. Wikipedia has it as Penda. I got nothing.

5:11pm: Slumdog Millionaire has made $159m on a budget of $15m. That's playing with power.

5:13pm: Downey Jr. mentions Sherlock Holmes has locked and it's going to be "darned swell."

5:15pm: It's Miley! Tonight she's wearing someone I can't spell or pronounce. Miley's movie drops April 10th. Between her, High School Musical 3, and Pattinson, the Oscars have the youth demo covered. Too bad they don't have the "We shoulda nominated Dark Knight" demo covered.

5:20pm: The PricewaterhouseCoopers accountants walk the red carpet. I hate them. I prefer KPMG for all my auditing needs.

5:23pm: Seven minutes away from heaven. They kick it live to Jack Black who is at the bar. If I ever get invited to the Oscars I would definitely be throwing down some liquor. It's not like they can kick you out, right? By the way, this fantasy assumes I'm Jack Nicholson too.

5:25pm: A sneak peek of the show five minutes before it starts? I'm not sure if these guys know how marketing works.

5:30pm: It's live. We're live. We're living. Hugh Jackman hits the stage and this thing is on like Donkey Kong.

5:31pm: Hmmm, he seems to be doing "jokes." I was told there weren't going to be jokes. Still, he's already charming and likable.

5:35pm: Although, I've got to wonder: why didn't we have time for the actual nominees to perform their songs? Because Jackman is on minute four of his little musical. It's not bad, it has funny moments, but it wasn't nominated for an Oscar. "Jai Ho" from Slumdog Millionaire was. So maybe next time let's roll with that, eh fellas?

5:37pm: Hugh Jackman hasn't seen The Reader. Even the Academy knows they screwed up with that nomination.

5:43pm: Looks like Best Supporting Actress is going first. Will Doubt split the vote? Will Penelope benefit? The Oscar goes to ...

5:47pm: Best Supporting Actress goes to Penelope Cruz. I'm zero for one on tonight's predictions. I thought Viola had a real shot there.

5:49pm: It's Penelope Cruz's first Academy Award. She only gets 45 seconds to accept after the bloated five-minute rendering of the nominees.

5:54pm: Steve Martin and Tina Fey are killing it tonight. Bless them. They've made my night better.

5:57pm: Best Original Screenplay goes to Milk. And I'm back on the board!

6:01pm: Best Adapted Screenplay goes to Slumdog Millionaire. I retroactively saw that coming, once it was exactly too late and my prediction was already in. Simon Beaufoy thanks Frieda Pinto by calling her "Latika" -- just like her character in the movie. Now that's getting into your work!

6:05pm: My brother wants to thank Photosynthesis, without which this night never would have happened. He's got a point there. It's animation yearbook time! Who said Space Chimps would never make the Oscars?

6:06pm: Best Animated Feature goes to Wall-E. I swear Jennifer Aniston didn't even look at the card. She just knew, as we all just knew, as Pixar knows the minute they greenlight any animated project.

6:10pm: Best Animated Short goes to La Maison en Petit Cubes causing bloggers of the world to grimace as they scurry for the correct spelling. The winner thanks Mr. Roboto, and for that we must praise.

6:11pm: Reading my last entry back it seems as though I'm starting to channel Yoda. Go with it, I must.

6:17pm: Best Art Direction goes to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It's known as the "consolation" Oscar in the biz, as in "Your Art Direction was the BEST but sadly your film was not."

6:20pm: Best Costume Design goes to The Duchess. Boom. I'm now four for seven and heating up. I feel like The Duchess was hugely underrated. Actually, it probably wasn't really rated at all, was it? Besides the Oscar I'm saying.

6:24pm: Best Makeup goes to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. But wait, I thought it was the CGI that made Button special?

6:25pm: Robert Pattinson and Amanda Seyfried present the romance genre yearbook. Give the Academy credit, they clearly have an intern who reads Entertainment Weekly. This Pattinson kid is going to be HUGE I tell ya, HUGE! By the way, lumping Revolutionary Road into the "romance" genre is like ... well, it's wrong.

Sorry, I'm running out of metaphors over here.

6:28pm: Was anyone else strangely attracted to Eve from Wall-E? No? Just me (sound of owls in the distance)? Anyway, I just think she's a really good-looking robot is all. Don't judge me.

6:31pm: Ben Stiller lampoons Joaquin Phoenix and I laugh and laugh. For the record, the Phoenix thing is all a gag. Seriously. We've got people in the know on this thing. If the man really wanted to rap people would take it seriously, because in Hollywood no one makes fun of craziness. They applaud it. The fact that everyone is laughing at Phoenix means he's laughing when the cameras aren't on. Close the books on that one too. Laremy's 2009 Oscar Live Blog -- Solving Mysteries!

6:35pm: Best Cinematography goes to Slumdog Millionaire.

6:37pm: I'm a respectable 6-3 so far. 20-4 is the goal, so I only have one more slot to miss. Given how many random categories are still to come it's not looking great for me. The Live Action or Documentary Short will probably be my Waterloo.

6:39pm: Jerry Lewis mention! I'm a bigger fan of Jerry Lawler myself. Remember his bit with Andy Kaufman? Now that was crazy fun. Joaquin, take notes.

6:43pm: Seth Rogen and James Franco are laughing at The Reader now. Seriously, Academy, let's just call this the "mea culpa" edition.

6:44pm: The stapler scene from The Wrestler still haunts me.

6:45pm: The Oscars are definitely taking themselves less seriously this year. Must be the whole "no one has jobs or food or places to live anymore" vibe that's toning them down a notch.

6:48pm: Best Live Action Short goes to Toyland. My wife wanted The Pig. Which means I wanted The Pig. On the bright side, I picked Toyland to win, meaning I've staved off elimination for another few minutes.

6:51pm: I am racking up the Twitter followers during this. I may start live blogging everything I do if this keeps up. Twitter followers, to me, equal love.

To recap: I love cheese, Twitter, Slumdog, Dark Knight, Penda, and allowing the Best Song nominees to sing their own songs at THE ACADEMY AWARDS.

6:54pm: Beyonce is B-rilliant! No, not really. Just wanted to quote Paul Rudd from SNL for a second. In real life this is fairly pointless.

6:56pm: You telling me Ricky Gervais wouldn't have owned tonight? C'mon. Let's be real. Hugh Jackman is doing an admirable job. But you send a comedian to do the job right. Or Andy Rooney. I love his early stuff.

6:57pm: Hugh Jackman screams, "The musical is back!" Oh, it never left pal. Remember Dreamgirls? Moulin Rouge!? Grease 2?

6:59pm: The Proposal, starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds, looks like the most generic romantic comedy ever. It's like they aren't even trying anymore. But while I've got you on the line, I've got this idea for a movie I'd like to throw at you. What about one where she's a border guard and he's a smuggler? Only he smuggles something funny, like dog collars. So she finds out BUT instead of busting him makes him go on a date because she just got out of a really traumatic relationship with a controlling jerk. In the third act the jerky guy comes back and new guy has to sick the dogs on him. Could work, yeah? Where's my agent? Get Ashton on the line!

7:05pm: Cuba Gooding Jr. sighting! The supporting actor nominations are being lauded. Josh Brolin is on a little roll, eh? American Gangster, No Country for Old Men, Milk, and W. within two years is pretty impressive.

7:08pm: Best Supporting Actor goes to Heath Ledger. His family accepts.

7:14pm: Best Documentary Feature goes to Man on Wire. Good film. I can't complain about it. Plus, I'm now 9-3. Feeling the flow, working it. Working it.

7:14pm: Whoa! He just balanced the Oscar on his nose. Kudos to that action.

7:18pm: Best Documentary Short goes to Smile Pinki. No, I didn't see that coming.

7:19pm: It looks like our Red Carpet Photo Gallery is now live. Pleased to be enjoying!

7:25pm: Action montage time! Technically though, was Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull an action film? Seemed like more of a cautionary tale to me.

7:27pm: Best Visual Effects goes to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

7:30pm: Best Sound Editing goes to The Dark Knight. Whew. Staying alive at 11-4 so far. There's your consolation Oscar Dark Knight fans, enjoy it!

7:32pm: Best Sound Mixing goes to Slumdog Millionaire and my dream of 20 correct is over. Button and Slumdog are now tied with three Oscars each.

7:36pm: Best Editing goes to Slumdog Millionaire and it takes a four to three lead. Let the route begin.

7:37pm: How dare you play us to commercial with Aimee Mann's "Momentum" from Magnolia when you snubbed that film for American Beauty back when it counted? For shame, sir, for shame.

7:45pm: The Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award goes to Jerry Lewis. I had Sting. Upset!

7:54pm: Best Score goes to Slumdog Millionaire. I'm 13 for 18 with a whole mess of chalk yet to come. Best Picture is a lock. Best Song is pretty locked in. Best Director is lock-ish.

7:56pm: Now that you've won an Oscar Mr. Rahman, you may now have 90 seconds to perform an excerpt from your songs. Sincerely yours, the Academy.

8:01pm: Best Song goes to "Jai Ho" from Slumdog Millionaire. If this were a fight they would have called it. Slumdog can't be stopped.

8:07pm: Best Foreign Language Film goes to Depatures from Japan. Little bit of an upset there.

8:09pm: Looks like Slumdog will win eight out of ten. Button scored 13 nominations, but only three wins. The only real suspense left are the Lead Actor and Actress categories. Winslet has about a 80% chance while Penn is a less safe 55% bet.

8:12pm: Queen Latifah's big voice gets us through the "In Memoriam" section. This is kind of a classy choice, actually. One last time, for posterity, "We're gonna need a bigger boat."

8:19pm: Best Director goes to Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. He's aces. Now let him make whatever he wants, Hollywood! The guy went to India to make his film and was happy his producers couldn't get him on conference calls. Let's just give him that Spielberg power instead, eh?

8:22pm: I've said it before, and I'll say it again: As bad as 20th Century Fox is at greenlighting movies, Fox Searchlight is that great at buying films. My guess is those guys never have lunch together. One makes Bride Wars while the other purchases The Wrestler and Slumdog Millionaire. Although I suppose 2009's Taken is a good sign for the big boys.

8:30pm: Best Actress goes to Kate Winslet for The Reader. And also sort of for her performance in Revolutionary Road. Give Oscar extra points for efficiency here, it freed up that Supporting win for Penelope.

8:35pm: Kate Winslet telling her dad to whistle (and him doing so!) was a nice moment. And her telling Meryl Streep to "suck it up" was also pretty fun. All in all I give her speech a solid 8.5 out of 10.

8:40m: They sat Robert Pattinson right behind Mickey Rourke. If he invites you to the after-party you gotta say no Rob. Trust me here. Down that path lies madness.

8:43pm: Best Actor goes to Sean Penn for Milk. I liked Mickey Rourke a little better, but I can't really begrudge the pick. Academy voters probably just felt safer with the Penn pick.

8:45pm: I feel good about going 18-6. That probably would have won a few office pools, right? Sean Penn says "I do know how hard I make it to appreciate me." Good line.

8:47pm: We're at 3,000 words and the show is now ten minutes over time. Don't worry, puppets. We'll all be to bed soon enough. Right after ...

8:52pm: Best Picture goes to Slumdog Millionaire. Good for them. It was an innovative film that deserved some love, especially in that it was relatively upbeat, given the competition.

8:58pm: Oscar gets us out with a few images from 2009's movies. A bit odd, given they aren't full trailers. Just about two seconds per movie. Still, a fun time was had by all. I'm off to pass out. To my bosses reading this: I might be in a bit late. To the rest of the Internets: Stay cool. Stay cool forever.

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