Monday brought us one of those moments you don't see too often in prime time outside of sports, an awards show, or American Idol: a live water cooler event. Just after Marie Osmond finished the evening's first performance on Dancing with the Stars, a workmanlike rumba, she fainted as the judges' comments were beginning (her problems become visible at about the 7-minute mark here). Any thoughts that it might have been a gag to underscore how draining the dance was ended when Tom Bergeron went to commercial break with no fanfare?

Episode 5 of Heroes brought the long-awaited debut of Kristen Bell's character, long-awaited because of the goodwill Bell gained from her duty on Veronica Mars, and because the season thus far has been a tremendously dull letdown for most fans. [Find out more on The Main Feature.]

Elsewhere:

Weeds: With The Sopranos in the history books, this show now has my favorite ensemble in cable, one that got even better when the wonderful Brooke Smith came on board a few weeks ago. Smith's character Valerie, furious about the $119,000 she's convinced is rightfully hers, hires a private eye to look into Nancy's dirty deeds, and a vengeful Celia goes on the warpath.

The Bachelor: No rose for Hillary, who departs in a scene that's over-the-top even by this show's operatic standards. Somewhere there's a bin missing its loony.

Californication: Hank finds out that Mia is passing off his unpublished and extremely autobiographical novel as her work; Becca stuns her mother by asking if she can live with Hank.

The Hills: This might have been a good night for a live episode, what with the fires and all. We could have examined the effects of extreme heat on plastic. Instead, Lauren went on a date and Spencer was toothy and obnoxious. Rinse, repeat.

I neglected to mention Viva Laughlin in my weekend recap, which was a mistake since CBS deep-sixed it after a mere two episodes. I had a year's worth of snark saved up, now to go permanently unused. Still, I have the feeling this is one of those insane network miscalculations we'll be laughing about for years. Hugh Jackman may be a big deal as Wolverine, but when it comes to dancing on television, America would rather watch Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

Recommend (0)

|  Comments (0)

|  Email

|  Share

Share  Facebook Digg del.icio.us