It's that time again. Everyone is sappy. Everyone is happy. And it seems that everyone but you has a date this weekend. Well, screw them! Right?

You're not going out. You're not going to watch a romantic movie. You're going to stay inside and do anything but think about the fact that you're alone. Not the easiest thing to do as Hollywood execs always feel the need to squeeze in romance or sexual tension into any and everything they make. Even films that don't need it. So, just to help, here are some movies that have nothing to do with romantic love whatsoever. Actually, they are just the opposite of romantic; they won't make you want to date at all.

Man on Fire
A deep-fried favorite of mine, I just can't seem to find enough excuses to talk about this film. Dark, gritty and the best revenge film in over a decade, this story does focus on love, just not romantic love. The touching story of what happens when a guilt-ridden mercenary develops a friendship with an 8-year-old girl and that girl gets kidnapped and most likely murdered by a Mexican kidnapping cartel. Needless to say, he doesn't send candy or flowers.

The Dirty Dozen
The man's man movie to end all man's man movies, featuring Charles Bronson, Lee Marvin, John Cassavetes, Telly Savalas, Jim Brown, Robert Ryan, and Donald Sutherland. Loud, brash and totally awesome -- this is the story of twelve GIs all sentenced to life in prison or to die by the hangman's noose. They are all offered a chance at freedom if they participate in a brutal, suicide raid on a German compound. Probably one of the best action films ever made. Certainly the manliest.

Hot Fuzz
Last year's brilliant spoof of action films once again showed that Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg could both spoof a genre as well as make a perfect, spot-on example of one. This is the type of film Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer dream about when they sleep, before they wake up and make irredeemable crap like Meet the Spartans. This? This is about as perfect as a spoof gets.

Predator
Oh. Hell. Yes. You want a modern, manly classic? How about a muscle-bound Arnold Schwarzenegger in top physical form wandering around the jungle with a group of complete badasses hunting an alien monster? A monster that is hunting them more then they are hunting it? Yeah. This one is a classic for a reason. Always worth a revisiting.

A Boy and His Dog
This forgotten 1975 Don Johnson movie is a perfect cure for the Valentine's Day blues. It's a post-apocalyptic story about a boy with a telepathic dog that he uses to seek out water, food, and sex. The ending is one of the greatest sucker punches to the idea of romantic love ever. A buddy film way ahead of its time, this is one worth seeking out.

Alone, yet want to be romantic anyway? Here are 5 Romantic Movies That Inspire a Good Cuddle

C. Robert Cargill - - - Email Me

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