AUGUST

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
There is no way this movie works. I don't want to hear it, because I don't want to believe it, because deep down I would like nothing more than to have silly fun with this movie. I will even accept an unintentionally funny adventure that I can make fun of for the rest of my life. At least I would love it on some level.

Julie & Julia
Julia Child's memoir My Life in France gets the big screen treatment in this drama starring Meryl Streep and Amy Adams. Just in case this movie didn't sound chicky enough, it's adapted and directed by Nora Ephron.

The Time Traveler's Wife
The movie women -- who are married to men who happen to have genes which make them involuntarily time travel, causing havoc and hardship in the relationship -- have all been waiting for stars Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams. I'm intrigued and wary at the same time.

Inglourious Basterds
If I could see one and only one summer movie right here, right now, it would probably be Tarantino's latest madness opus. The prospect of seeing this surreal World War II actioneer that features a bunch of nerdy Jewish guys turning into badass Nazi-scalping fiends is just too much to pass up. Whatever we have coming our way this August, it is sure to be unhinged.

H2: Halloween 2
I'm not a fan at all of Rob Zombie's take on the iconic Michael Meyers. The good news is, neither is he, and he seems determined to do it right this time. We'll see.

The Boat That Rocked
This British import features Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Nighy, Rhys Ifans, and Nick Frost as a couple of rebel disc jockeys who broadcast pop music in the 1960s the only way they knew how: in international waters. This might be a nice end-of-summer surprise.

It Might Get Loud
This is a documentary I can rock out with. It's a look at the electric guitar from the points of view of three rock icons: The great Jimmy Page, The Edge and Jack White.

Shorts
Shorts is the latest kids movie from Robert Rodriguez's schizophrenic career. It's about a kid who finds a magic rock that will grant him his wishes. I just wish the kid would wish for that Sin City sequel already.

Final Destination: Death Trip 3D
Guys, this is going to be in 3-D! That's why it's called Final Destination: Death Trip 3D! I'm sure this is going to be a completely fresh and different take on the franchise premise, packed with interesting characters, smart dialogue and engaging narrative. No way the studio greenlights an unimaginative, same-old, same-old horror feature simply because they're cheap to make and can make a quick and easy profit opening night and then not care when it dies a horrible death weeks after. No way, no how.

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