Hello, and welcome to the 2006 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show live blog. There's a tingle of excitement in the air, and if I'm not mistaken it's due entirely to the prospect of 45 minutes of lingerie modeling, ideally with highly pervy and awkward context provided by CBS (motto: Please just watch us).

Oh, If you're wanting to read my preview to this here live blog, go to this link.

Now let's get this thing on!

10:00pm - Heidi Klum just welcomed us to the sexiest fashion show on the planet! Also, some good news, the ladies are slipping into something a little more "comfortable." "Hello, ladies ..." the blogger said with a purr. For the record they better not be slipping into something too comfortable because around my house that stands for giant pajama pants with little ducks on them.

10:01 - Showing prep work. Evidently getting these women ready to show off lingerie is much like building a stadium with a retractable roof. Yep, just like normal life!

10:03 - Oh HELL yeah, Justin Timberlake sings "I'm Bringing Sexy Back." Rosie took it from us, and now JT is bringing it back! I just started bouncing on my couch. It's like club Laremy up in this mess. Nobody spike my drink!

10:04 - First model. I think it's Gisele. She's wearing something that makes her look like a giant canary. If she entered my boudoir in that getup I'd be a little terrified that she'd poke my eye clean out of the socket.

10:05 - Okay, I won't lie, the ladies are fully hot. The kind of hot that exists only when witnessing the unattainable. The kind of hot that starts wars. The kind of hot that you can't purchase on lay-away. The kind of hot that ... ouch. Just got kicked in the head by my wife.

10:06 - One girl is sporting an eight foot train. That's awesome, she can dust my place before all the lovemaking.

10:08 - Shot of a crazy producer telling the camera folk to stay the hell back or she's going to adios them. Blood in the water, sister, blood in the water. These photogs sense lady lingerie fear. Only high-def shots of supermodel goodness can quench their thirst. If you have to throw one out I'd make sure to have a rabies shot handy.

10:12 - The ladies talk about their first kiss. Segue: My first kiss was actually with a supermodel. Weird coincidence.

10:14 - Supermodels now talking about their first love. Oh C'mon, these women don't feel, they are maneaters. One of them just chewed up JT. Sorry, Cameron!

10:15 - VERY AGGRESSIVE thigh-high red leather boots. Might be time for a TV timeout around the old blogger household. Let's get our bearings back.

10:16 - Better, they just showed Derek Jeter. As a Red Sox fan I'm morally obligated to call him "pretty." He's a pretty, pretty man.

10:17 - I'm not annoyed by the music yet, which is in and of itself annoying. It's not near "strip-clubby" enough. Who do I gotta kill to get me some Def Leppard up in here??

10:18 - They are obsessed with women wearing giant wings in the bedroom. Evidently there are more guys out there with "giant falcon girl" fetishes than I'd previously realized.

10:24 - CBS just updated their motto to "No, seriously, we really need you to start watching this network. No kidding around. Actually, just name one other program besides CSI and we'll send you a gift certificate."

10:25 - A model just lost a shoe, on the runway no less! But does she stop walking? Hell no! She's a SUPER model not a FAIR TO MIDDLIN' model.

10:26 - The guy from Entourage is there, you know, the guy who plays the manager. Life imitates art one more time for all the fans out there. He slips one of the girls his number and she pretends she's got to take this call, it's important, she's been waiting for it all day.

10:27 - A model is running to get her next outfit! In my world they would be delivered to new outfits on golden clouds, fed grapes all the way.

10:28 - One of the models is sporting a hidden camera so we can see what it's like to be a model. Guess what? It's like when gads of people take pictures of you. Didn't see that coming.

10:30 - More dumb footage of what it's like to be a model. Bring Justin, (and thus the sexy) back, please.

10:33 - Um ... music video, slow-mo montage of girl's doing ... um ... poses. I'm searching really hard here for a joke that won't get us fined by someone. Uh ... huh ... let's see here ... do they make laminated TV's? For you children reading this, "laminated" means "rainbow."

10:40 - Justin is back and dancing up a storm, but where do I lodge an official protest? Justin isn't a supermodel. Justin isn't wearing wings. I didn't sign up for this. That said, Justin is clearly this generation's Michael Jackson. Personally, I can't wait for the Bubbles the chimp era!

10:41 - Wow, this kid can really dance. They told me, "Hey, dreamer, Kevin Bacon only comes once every thousand years," but clearly they were mistaken.

10:43 - A Bagpiper stands at the front of the stage, bagpipin' like crazy. This is a major upgrade from the trumpeter last year. No really, a guy played a trumpet. Stop laughing, this is CBS, you jerk!

10:44 - Ladies still hot. Thought you'd want to know.

10:45 - So they are doing a Scottish theme, and I'd call that the smallest kilt ever. Like a kilt belt really.

10:46 - You know who I love? The Sportsguy, over on ESPN.com. SG, help me out, how do you keep these things under 10,000 words? I'm reaching novella status over here. New CBS motto unveiled: "Hey, uh, if you don't watch us soon they're going to start making us sell our stuff. Just leave the TV on CBS if you go out for lunch, c'mon, be a buddy."

10:51 - A six million dollar bra. Whatever.

10:52 - Real-life lyrics of song playing as six million dollar bra takes the stage, and keep in mind I am in no way making this up.

Just a little more love / just a little more peace / is all it takes / to live and dream / to walk hand in hand / to understand / and one day soon / we'll live in harmony.

WHAAAAA? A chick is wearing a six million dollar bra. Somehow, I don't think this is a message of hope and harmony. In fact, some people would call this in poor taste. Ah whatever, I'm a forgiving sort. So long as they don't show the worst examples of American excess I'm not holding a grudge.

Yep, they just showed Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. Consider yourself highly grudged, 2006 VSFS, watch your back.

10:55 - I'm stunned, like Balboa when he realized he was 60.

10:58 - And that's it. Like a thief in the night, the models are gone, evidently taking peace and harmony with them.

Ladies and Gentlemen, thus concludes the intergalactic freak show.

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