Biopics clean up on the awards circuit, from A Beautiful Mind to Ray to Capote, and director Steven Soderbergh is ready to jump back in. (His previous outings, Kafka and Erin Brockovich, had mixed results: Kafka tanked, Brockovich won Julia Roberts an Academy Award.) His four-hour epic about revolutionary leader turned t-shirt icon Che Guevara is set to hit theaters in January, and now he's aiming his cameras at a new subject: Liberace.

Seriously.

No offense to Mr. Showmanship, but he didn't exactly lead a rebellion, unless you count the one against dressing down. But if Soderbergh is sold on the idea of biopics, here are a few suggestions for the next round.

Colonel Sanders
The story of the Kentucky Fried Chicken mogul really does have it all. Scandal! In the real army he was only a private, and rumor has it that wasn't even his tie. Romance! Apparently, he had some kids. Controversy! He was actually born in Indiana. Emotion! The tenth of those eleven secret herbs and spices? Love. Treason! Before his death, he moved -- to Canada.

Throw in that whole Mark Twain white-suit, southern gentleman thing, and I can just see Kevin Spacey in a big white wig. I smell an Oscar! Or at the very least a Golden Globe.

David Hasselhoff
From the highs of Knight Rider to the lows of Baywatch Nights! From the thrill of singing at the Berlin Wall to the shame of seeing video of yourself eating a hamburger wasted all over the internet! From the career low of The Spongebob SquarePants Movie to the also career low of America's Got Talent! Who can forget the 1989 album Knight Lover? Or the rousing anthem "Wir Zwei Allein"?

As far as casting, I'm thinking one of those Bob Dylan I'm Not There things, with Sam Rockwell playing Knight Rider Hasselhoff, and Keira Knightley playing Berlin Wall Hasselhoff, and Rob Schneider playing drunk hamburger Hasselhoff. Artsy is definitely the way to go with this one.

Dolly Parton
Costumes that look like a basehead got locked in a closet with a Bedazzler? Check. Corny sex jokes about virgin monks, or your giant boobs? Check. Your own museum and/or theme park? Check. Wow, she already is Liberace.

Yet another great story, from her eleven siblings to playing the Grand Ole Opry at 13. Casting would be tough without creepy prosthetics, but you know who's always up for a challenge? Christian Bale. Come on, did you see how much weight he lost for The Machinist? If anyone can do it, Bale's our man.

Andrew Lloyd Weber
Who doesn't want to know what kind of twisted, violent childhood led to the sick mind behind Cats and Evita, not to mention -- cover the children's eyes -- The Phantom of the Opera.

I think this one's a serious winner; it could also be a sociological comment on a nation teetering so close to breakdown that it actually made this guy a Knight of the Realm. For casting, let's go with Ricky Gervais. I have no idea what Andrew Lloyd Weber looks like, and I'm betting nobody else does either. So this should work out just fine.

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