State of Play hits theaters this week and has a lot to live up to for fans of the British series. I remain hopeful for two reasons: Russell Crowe is a great actor and director Kevin MacDonald is a damn fine filmmaker. MacDonald's resume isn't long enough for a top five/bottom five piece, but Crowe? That's a different story. You know what time it is.

THE GOOD

L.A. Confidential
Russell Crowe was robbed of an Oscar nomination for his portrayal as Bud White. The problem is, you can say that about almost anyone in Curtis Hanson's film. Watching Crowe's Bud White head towards a collision course with Guy Pearce's Ed Exley (the oil to his water) is a big reason the film works so well. Before this movie, Crowe was just the guy from that bad Denzel movie for most people.

The Insider
This might be Crowe's best work. He packed on the pounds for this movie, playing Jeffrey Wigand as a schlub with some serious communication issues. There is nothing glamorous about his role here. He's smart and decent, but also clumsy and moody. In other words, he's truly just a regular guy going through extraordinary circumstances.

Gladiator
He gained serious critical acclaim for L.A. Confidential and The Insider, but nobody busted down doors to see those movies in the theater. Crowe was still a relative unknown. That all changed with Ridley Scott's excellent sword-and-sandals epic. Crowe played Maximus as a giant of a man, but not a god.

A Beautiful Mind
Here he runs the gamut here as an actor, playing John Nash from his college days to his twilight years. Also, he's nuts. This one ranks with The Insider among his very best.

Cinderella Man
I still think Crowe and this movie were passed over during Oscar time because he threw a phone at a bellboy. That combined with the fact that he can be one surly S.O.B. who isn't afraid to speak his mind. The Academy likes safe and likable and Crowe doesn't always play it safe and he doesn't always care to be likable. I will take an a-hole who speaks his mind over a safe phony any day of the week. The scene where he has to call upon old friends and beg for money is as good as acting gets in my book.

THE BAD

A Good Year
Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe wanted to relax and have a good time in Italy and we had to pay the price. This movie doesn't work at all -- unless it was supposed to be dull and uninspired.

Virtuosity
When I was younger I was a lot more forgiving of garbage movies. But I remember reading a summer preview back in 1995 for this movie and even the 17-year-old idiot version of me knew it was going to suck. You know what actually didn't suck in this movie? Russell Crowe as Sid 6.7. But this is easily one of his worst movies. Crowe and Zel made good with American Gangster, so all is forgiven.

The Quick and the Dead
I like some of Sam Raimi's insane quick-draw Western. I just think most of it stinks. Some of the performances are fun. Crowe is fine. This movie just wasn't anywhere near as cool as Raimi intended it to be.

Proof of Life
This isn't really a bad movie, it's just a pretty mediocre one and clearly not on the same level as the above "Good" movies. There are a good number of Crowe movies I really dig not on the "Good" list, but which are certainly worthy of consideration: Master and Commander, Romper Stomper and American Gangster come to mind. Hell, I even liked Mystery, Alaska more than Proof of Life.

I honestly don't have a fifth bottom movie for Crowe because I haven't seen most of his obscure (see: bad) flicks. So I'm going to arbitrarily pick his fifth bottom movie based on the little I know about them. Ladies and gentlemen, here are the contenders:

First up is a movie called No Way Back. Crowe stars as FBI agent Zack Grant. Helen "Billy Jean" Slater also co-stars and -- astonishingly -- her name even made it to the DVD cover box. What I found interesting is despite being trained by the FBI, the DVD cover box features Crowe pointing a gun at you, gangsta-style with his palm down and the gun on its side. Classic FBI move if I've ever seen one.

Next you have a movie called Rough Magic. I tried reading the synopsis on IMDb, but it was so incoherent, I thought it would be better if I stopped reading before I punched my monitor.

Then there is Breaking Up, which has what must be one of the worst onscreen pairings I've ever heard of: Russell Crowe and Salma Hayek. The most interesting thing I can say about this movie is the cover box has the following quote on it:

"Salma Hayek and Russell Crowe are splendid."
-Seattle Film Festival, 1997

You see that? The Seattle Film Festival is on board with this flick. I dare not go against the entire Seattle Film Festival. No, sir.

People, I think I have our winner. Please directa your feetsa here to see a DVD cover box for 1997's Heavens Burning. Sometimes when you fall in love you just know it right away. As soon as I caught those lamb-chop sideburns Crowe sports, I knew me and this movie were destined for each other. I mean, that's all kinds of bad right there. IMDb says the tagline is "Too Many Guns," which is perfectly awful too. Just beautiful. It's not only straight and to the point; it also represents a complete lack of creativity on the marketing department's part. In short, it's exactly what I was looking for from this movie.

Heaven's Burning, congratulations. You made yourself a winner today!

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Dre writes two times a week for Film.com. Email him!

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