Things might be getting catty here. Robert De Niro has thrown Leonardo DiCaprio out of Martin Scorsese's house and -- with a raised index finger -- said, "Nuh-uh, get yo' paws off my man!" Yes, Scorsese has been two-timing the Raging Bull the last few years for a younger, fitter blonde. But once upon a time Scorsese and De Niro were just like peas and carrots. They were Riggs and Murtaugh, Milli and Vanilli, Tango and Cash. But they haven't teamed up in director-actor fashion since 1995's Casino. That may soon change.

Word is the two are finally reteaming for a new (wait for it...) mob epic. It's about Frank "The Irishman" Sheeran, the man who (allegedly) made Jimmy Hoffa disappear. Now I should be doing the happy dance with this kind of news. But for some reason I'm more excited about writer-director Steven Zaillian coming on board to adapt the Charles Brandt book, I Heard You Paint Houses, than I am the glorious reunion.

Why is that? I'll tell you. "Why" is because right now, Robert De Niro stinks (no disrespect). I won't tell him that to his face. But damnit, I'll type it in print and mean it like heck. He's one of the best actors of all time; he directed one of my favorite films of 2006, but he hasn't had a memorable performance in years (OK, I enjoyed Captain Shakespeare, but come on). It used to be that a De Niro performance was an event. These days, I'm almost afraid to go see the guy (no disrespect). I'm afraid he'll just embarrass himself, usually due to the quality of the picture. Do you know how hard it was for me to sit through The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle? Well, rate it on a scale of one to ten and then double it.

I liked De Niro's foray into comedy with Meet the Parents and Analyze This. They were fun, interesting parodies of his famous on-screen wise-guy persona. These days, though, it's almost like it's all parody, all the time. That or he just phones in the performance in a movie not worthy of his talents. Where's the interesting character work? He's gone soft. That's the only way I can describe it.

Which is why him getting back to his roots and working with Scorsese again is a very, very good thing. He needs this. It's medicine for the soul. And let me be honest, I don't blame De Niro for taking it easy. He seems looser and happier these days. He's older now. Good for him. But recess is over. It's time to get back to work. Marty is maybe the one guy out there who can still go back and successfully dip into the De Niro well. Unfortunately, De Niro is going to have to wait at least until Scorsese wraps up his latest Leo partnership, Shutter Island. Bobby, this is your chance to show that little punk who is the true prince of Marty Land. Give us your best shot.

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