People, the word on the street is that The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is headed for some major awards. Nominations for Best Picture, Most Original Screenplay, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, Best Cinematography, Best Visual Effects. etc. -- all are on the horizon. It's a bright and beautiful landscape, indeed. On the opposite end of the skyline, however, in the darkened corners of the earth, under stormy clouds and leaking ceilings, the poor and unfortunate Brad Pitt creeps, crawling about in a hidden attic, a stranger to the world. Will not a child show him the light?

What I'm saying is this: Brad Pitt can't catch a break. Yeah, I know he's like ridiculously good-looking. Yeah, I know he's married to one of the hottest broads in Hollywood. Yeah, I know he makes a gazillion dollars and can afford the 800 kids. In many ways, the world's his oyster. But is the guy taken seriously as an actor?

Now I know he got an Oscar nom for his hilarious 12 Monkeys performance, which arrived the same year as Seven. But he didn't get any Oscar love for his iconic Fight Club work. He was excellent in Babel but missed out on an Oscar nomination. OK, fine. Then came last year's The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford where he did some of his best and most interesting work. No nomination. OK, then. This year he was the best thing in Burn After Reading, an underrated Coen brothers' effort. I thought for sure the buzz would sustain for his take as the immortal, sweet but very dumb, Chad (remember, not "Brad" ... Chad). Not so much as a whimper at this point. As for Benjamin Button? The excuse is two-fold: much of his character work relies on visual effects and his character is too passive, a watcher. Can we give this guy a break already? How many running-start kicks to the teeth does he need to take?

People, Brad Pit may have the beautiful, sexy, sultry wife a million guys would kill or die for, a great career, lots of money, the good looks -- and now -- the ability to age backwards ... but it isn't as much as he could be getting. He could be getting a little more.

In fact, I would argue those things -- the amazingly (like ridiculously) hot wife, the "18 wheelers sized full of thousand dollar bills that he start chimney fires with every day for the rest of his life and never go hungry despite having 800 kids", the great career with opportunities to hang out with jovial pranksters like George Clooney, the fantabulously dreamy looks that would cause any girl to drop her boyfriend and husband like a bad, vile, disgusting habit that she'd want to forget instantaneously and pretend never even existed -- these things actually do the poor chap harm. How can you not feel for the guy? Are you nuts? Maybe this is the only way the Academy can stick it to him.

This is not right. Do you need the man's soul? Will that satisfy you, Academy? It's not his fault he was born with perfect genes, talent and charm. Give him an Oscar. It will complete him. It will be like the world finishing the most challenging Rubik's Cube on the planet -- with everything nicely color-coordinated, in its right place, and in perfect harmony.

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