The freshman football team at LA's exclusive Harvard-Westlake school just got a whole lot cooler than varsity.

Ashton Kutcher is their new assistant coach.

And, no, it's not for a role. "I asked him why he wanted to coach," said the head coach of the team about Ashton's interview process. "He said he's a dad, he has three daughters, and none of them are into sports. He loves football, and he said he’d always wanted to coach."

Ashton will attend practice five days a week and receive a salary for the gig. I just think this is funny because I bet there were a handful of frosh dudes who made the varsity or JV teams and acted like they were the coolest thing ever because of it and now the guys they were being jerks to are all like, "Yeah, dude, enjoy playing on JV. I'll be there next year. This year, though, I'm just gonna enjoy hooking up with every chick in school because Ashton Kutcher is my football coach. Peace."

And don't waste your time scrutinizing every inch of the team's website for Ashton's contact info or naked locker room photos -- neither is there. I already looked. A lot.

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