Alec Baldwin, long known for his acting but now beloved for his comedy, has a new film coming out, the drama My Sister's Keeper. As much fun as some people make about the Baldwin clan, Alec has an incredible resume of both winners and real losers. He has gained a devoted fan following through his record-breaking (tying) number of appearances on Saturday Night Live and his role on the very funny 30 Rock. But what's his best? What's his worst? Let's run 'em down.
TOP FIVE
1. Beetle Juice
While not his funniest role, this is definitely Baldwin's best and most beloved comedy. If for some reason you've missed this gem, this is the film in which he plays a ghost whose home is invaded by an obnoxious group of trespassers (i.e., the new tenants) and he hires a professional poltergeist (whose name provides the film's title) to scare them away. A classic comedy masterpiece.
2. The Hunt For Red October
I don't care what anyone else says, Alec Baldwin IS Jack Ryan. Of the four films there have been three men to take up the mantle -- and Baldwin nailed the character from the book the best. In one of the greatest action/thrillers of all time, he played the bookworm that out-thought everybody.
3. Glengarry Glen Ross That watch costs more than you car. I made $970,000 last year. How much did you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a ****. Good father? **** you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here ... close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you **********? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave. You don't like this movie? Leave. You wanna watch it? You close. End of story.
4. The Departed
In what will no doubt go down as one of the ten best films of the decade, Alec Baldwin showed he still had the chops to play in the big leagues while not being funny. This was a stern reminder of the skill this guy has. Oh, and this happens to be one of the greatest adaptations of a foreign film in history.
5. The Cooler
In this great, under-seen indie, Baldwin plays a gangster who employs a man with very strange gifts -- he can steal the luck from others just by touching them. When someone is on a hot streak in Baldwin's casino, he sends in The Cooler (William H. Macy) to take that streak away. But when Macy wants to leave ... well, you don't leave the Mob. They leave you. A brilliant piece of dark-fantasy fiction.
Those are his best. You ready for his worst?
BOTTOM FIVE
1. The Shadow
Oh, oh my. You remember a time when comic book movies were a joke and every single one of them was terrible? Well, this was from that time. The Shadow was a noir radio meets comic-book pulp hero from the '30s and '40s -- in this era he was one of the biggest sensations in the world. The attempt to resurrect him didn't work out so hot. For the longest time I never saw the ending of this because my friends would always shut it off at the moment Tim Curry left Baldwin (The Shadow) for dead. They thought it was a much better finale. Turns out they were right. This is painful.
2. Mercury Rising
Best known as the film that made everyone second-guess seeing The Sixth Sense (Oh gawd, not another Bruce Willis movie with a kid!), it's not that this movie is particularly terrible; it's just tepid. But Baldwin is startlingly bad as the villain. This is proof that playing a villain takes a very special kind of actor. Alec proved time and again in this movie that he was not that actor. There's a rooftop scene that stands as one of the worst third-act sequences I have ever seen -- and for that reason alone this makes his worst-of list.
3. The Adventures of Pluto Nash
That he appeared in this movie at all, credited or not, is a black mark that will forever be left on his soul.
4. The Cat in the Hat
It's not just that this was a terrible movie without merit. It's also not just that Mike Myers was incredibly unfunny in it. It's not even that they spell out a bad word in a kids' movie for comedy. Alec Baldwin is just GROSS in this. Really gross. Sleazy, slimy and icky to the point that I didn't want to him again in anything for some time after this.
5. Along Came Polly
Ugh. There are few things rougher on me than a Ben Stiller comedy, but along with The Heartbreak Kid this ranks among his worst. Once again Baldwin plays a sleazy corporate type, this time with a bathroom scene that just made me uncomfortable. But the worst part is that his appearance in this movie is what gave us the term "shart." If you're unfamiliar with the term, consider yourself lucky and leave it at that. The rest of you are probably cringing right now, aren't you?
Film.com's FREE movie of the week is "Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror." This 1922 classic of cinema based on Bram Stoker's "Dracula" (but with names changed) directed by F.W. Murnau and starring Max Schrek in one of films most famous and frightening make-up jobs.
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