Character Countdown: The Real Housewives of O.C. Episode 5

When Alexis hosted a get-together for the women Sunday on The Real Housewives of O.C., Peggy and Tamra, who had never met, bonded over the fact that they’re both with younger men. To hear them talk, you’d think these dudes were 10-15 years their juniors (“He’s so mature and successful!”), but in reality, we were reminded that they were three and five years younger than the two ‘wives.

Are a few years difference really such a big deal these days, especially since the women have erased a few years from their faces with plastic surgery?

In other Housewife haps, Vicki’s family reminded her they exist over their first family dinner in months; Gretchen pulled out all the stops in planning her parent’s 40th wedding anniversary party; and Alexis (yawnnnnnn) continued to make us wonder why they keep renewing her contract.

We’d rather see them add Tamra’s hot Brazilian lesbian trainer, Fernanda, to the cast.

Botox for all!

PEGGY (102)
– Is getting her boobs redone. Although she follows a naturopathic, holistic lifestyle, “I also believe in plastic surgery.” We’d expect nothing less from an O.C. Housewife (+3)
– Got her original boob job at an early age, and now lefty has migrated a bit (-2)
– Wants to get her one and three-year-old daughters into modeling, so she takes them into the agency that represented her when she was young (+2)
– They seem more interested in playing than modeling (-1)
– At Alexis’ party, gets info on everyone’s astrological signs, and offers assessments (+1)
– She also says she can read people’s auras, which might be interesting if we didn’t already know this group was a bunch of bitches (-3)
– Has to put off taking a fitness class with Fernandz until after her breasts heal (-1)
– Decides to befriend Vicki (+1), much to the dismay of her friend, Alexis (-2)
Net gain/loss: -2
Current total: 100

TAMRA (100)
– Does a topless NOH8 photo shoot with Fernanda. Is it just us, or has Tamra been topless at some point in nearly episode this season? Yay on the support for gay marriage (+3), nay on showing your tatas every ten minutes (-2)
– Is leaving her little apartment to move into a big house (+3)
– Has to go through all her stuff, and comes across all her wedding mementos in front of boyfriend Eddie (-2)
– Eddie’s feelings get hurt and he leaves her to sort items on her own, which is actually of benefit to her (+3)
– On her way to Alexis’ party, has pepper spray for her and Vicki should Gretchen act up. She’s joking, but it’s over the top (-2)
– At party, Fernanda scolds her for not attending her big citizenship celebration on the day she was moving (-2)
– As Tamra leaves the party, she jokingly brings up that she brought mace (then peers over at Gretchen), which will surely have consequences in a future episode (-3)
Net gain/loss: -2
Current total: 98

GRETCHEN (80)
– Is having a custom gown made for her mother for her 40th wedding anniversary vowel renewal (+3)
– Wears one of the Real Housewives of O.C. t-shirts with oranges over each boob. Can you shamelessly self-promote your show when you’re on it? (-2)
– Oh,  you just wanted to draw attention to your boobs? OK, then (+1)
– Takes her old wedding ring and has the stones made into a special gift for her mother — a four carat stunner (+5)
– Has a rack for all her sunglasses next to the door to her garage and we spy about 10 pairs (+3)
Net gain/loss: +10
Current total: 90

VICKI (83)
– Has dinner with her husband, daughter and son, and they say it’s the first time they’ve all eaten together in a year or so (+3)
– Apparently, Vicki stays at work until midnight or 1 a.m. most nights, so she never sees anyone even when they’re at home (-4)
– Note to Vicki: Get a life — one outside of work! (-2)
–  Nobody really seems to be enjoying the dinner; instead, they all take subtle digs at one another (-2)
– Says Vicki: “I spend a lot of time at work because it’s gratifying to me. My kids are raised and gone — what else do I have?” Guess Donn is chopped liver. No wonder they called it quits (-3)
– When Tamra offers Vicki her her own mace on the way to Alexis’ party, Vicki responds: “We should never go out with people for which you have to have pepper spray.” Agreed (+4)
Net gain/loss: -4
Current total: 79

ALEXIS (90)
– Is having a Zen party for the ladies, with massages, gifts and Botox — on her! (+4)
– It’s the only way she can get anyone to hang with her because she’s too boring otherwise (-3)
– Has the event elsewhere “because I didn’t want to wreck my house.” Yeah, those 40 to 50-year-old women make a real mess doing those beer bongs, don’t they? (-2)
– Nobody wants her free Botox. She seems disappointed, and is the only one in the group to get welt-head that day (-2)
– I’ve seen a lotta Housewives get Botox on TV, and Alexis is, by far, the whiniest one (-3)
Net gain/loss: -6
Current total: 84

CURRENT TOTALS:
Peggy: 100
Tamra: 98
Gretchen: 90
Alexis: 84
Vicki: 79

Categories: TV